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I'm turning 28 on the 10th if you'd like to get me something for my birthday I made a wish list (sorry it's not as convenient as amazon probably but I refuse to shop there so..):

Or if you'd like to send $$ instead:


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I am the level of sick where I can definitely tell that something stinks but not enough to be able to tell what it is or where it's coming from. So that's good.

(β€”β€”β€”) money, need at least a bit of help 

Getting absolutely wild on cough drops for my birthday, just completely shit faced on cough drops


Thank you to whoever bought me the lip stuff off my birthday wish list I don't know how or if I can see who it was from the list but thank you πŸ’—πŸ’—

my social media branding consultant says i gotta ask more questions in my posts, it's good for getting more interactions. is this guy full a bullshit or what?? sound off in the comments!!!

One thing I miss about florida is all the lizards just crawling all over the friggin place. Little push up doin pals. Washington where are your tiny lizard friends??? Where are they???

being gross in love 

*Ceremoniously and with great flourish, changing my age in my bio.*

The joy of being shown a friend’s garden

hellooo i’ve been paying a lot towards helping elis with his funds this month bc he’s been really struggling as a student but my overdraft allowance is small so i’m near my limit, if anyone could help me out i’d appreciate it so much :(

Me: y'all

Somebody: oh are you from Texas

Me: no I'm from online

Omfg I forgot it's my birthday tomorrow so I can buy myself that hat that just says, "deviled egg" on it and no one can judge me ever because it's the perfect hat and I deserve it

When you look up a definition of a word you don't know and the definition has other words you don't know in it:

πŸ₯ they hurt themselves in their confusion! πŸ₯

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